7812jk+Pet+Peeves

Sip!Slurp!Burp! James

“Omnomnom! Oh! Didn’t see you there! Omnomnom!” Don’t you just hate it when people chew so loudly that everyone in the whole neighborhood can hear? Or when someone thinks their food tastes so good, that they must verbally show their love for it? Loud chewing is my pet peeve, and should be yours too!

One time, when I was eating with my dad at a Burger King, and he chewed his Whopper so loudly, even the peopIe working there were staring at him. All I’m saying is that you should try to close your mouth while you’re eating every once in a while. It can’t hurt! Also, just because your food tastes good, it doesn’t mean you should start moaning about it with your “mmmms” and “oooos.” Guys, I get it. Food tastes great, but that’s for you, and your friend, Yelp to know. Not everyone else!

I blame you, disheveled parent. You know who you are, Mr. and Mrs. Messy. Always chomping at your food like a wild shark.

I blame you, fatty fast-food restaurant, for making the ingredients always hanging out of the bun. This teaches us that you must eat fast, no matter how sloppy.

I blame you, china company, for making bowls and plates so big creating the illusion that portions have to be so big.

The solution is simple, eat slowly with your mouth closed. Just pretend you’re at the queen of England’s royal dinner table. Would you like to be Sir Sloppy over in England? “Yes, could you pass the-BURRRP!-salt?”Can you see now why chewing loudly can be so annoying?

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